(512) 447-5283 dr.jdmarler@gmail.com

Couples Counseling

How do we begin?

We will meet for the first session together with all of us in the room. I have tried to do 50 minute sessions for the first meeting, but I’ve found that it’s just not long enough to do a comprehensive intake, so the first session is 75 minutes. After that meeting, if I think I can be helpful, I will invite you to continue to the second part of the assessment. You two may want to go home and discuss together whether you want to continue. Part two consists of you each filling out some paperwork and meeting with me individually for 50 minutes. After those meetings, we’ll have a fourth session in which we discuss treatment goals and a plan to be sure we are all on the same page.

To summarize, getting started entails a thorough assessment, as a team and individually. After this assessment, we will mostly meet all together as we move forward. Some couples prefer the 50 minute sessions and others feel 75 is a better length of time to cover all that comes up in a session. Infrequently, I may feel that an individual check-in will help move the work along, but if so, it will be for a specific purpose and usually only if we are working together longer term.

Will our relationship make it?

Most couples come to me seeking hope, healing and repair of a relationship that has experienced some damage and distress. We can work on healing your relationship and learning better ways for you to connect and feel heard and valued.  But some people seek couples counseling because they need help disengaging from a relationship with kindness and care. They want to separate in a way that allows them to to be good to one another.  This is something I can also help with. Some clinicians feel that all relationships must be saved. I recognize that sometimes relationships need to end or transition into a friendship or something else.

What brings people to relationship counseling?

Some of the relationship issues I have worked with have included communication problems, sexual issues, navigating consensual non-monogamy, deepening sexual fulfillment and exploring fantasies, recovering from affairs and infidelity and co-parenting issues.  When working with relationships, I frequently offer exercises to practice at home between sessions.

Most couples come to me seeking hope, healing and repair of a relationship that has experienced some damage and distress. We can work on healing your relationship and learning better ways for you to connect and feel heard and valued. But some people seek couples counseling because they need help disengaging from a relationship with kindness and care.